Much business conversation focuses on being outcomes driven, delivering value, thinking strategically, taking responsibility, accountability, ownership, … getting results. And rightly so.
Typically, the way leaders pursue these things is by telling their people to do them, be them, achieve them. This might look like stating the vision or goal, restating it now and again, reiterating the results they need (sometimes louder than last time), telling their people to “think more strategically” or behave like ‘business leaders’. Encouraging them to finish things, get the report in, revisit those numbers, … get their teams onto it. When this doesn’t work, they get annoyed and step in and fix it. Why? Because in the moment (under pressure, when they don’t have very much time and reporting deadlines are looming) it feels like it’s the best option. It often feels like it’s the only option.
At the same time, there’s a wealth of research, training, and discussion around how people and teams often don’t perform to their potential. Leaders ‘know’ (intellectually, at least) that they all need alignment on direction, stronger collaboration skills, increased team cohesion, better engagement, higher motivation … all that stuff that improves performance. All the while keeping an eye on everyone’s mental health. Focusing. Juggling.
And then there’s this: when people become leaders, there’s this underlying assumption (a false and dangerous one) that miraculously they’ve gained both the understanding and skill to lift their people’s performance and unleash their potential. After all, they’re leaders now – that’s their job.
‘Soft’ skills – what?!
The skills that these leaders desperately need to do their job – to help people perform at their best – are some of the hardest skills to master. Hard core leaders (the leaders most interested in the success of the business, who understand their role in that) have them in bucket loads. Yet, they’re often called ‘soft skills’. Sometimes the ‘warm and fluffy’ stuff (typically by those who don’t have them).
‘Soft’? I see marshmallows and fluffy slippers. I hear a nurturing tone. It’s a mother’s hug. The stuff for girls.
And as soon as the word ‘soft’ or ‘warm’ or ‘fluffy’ comes out of someone’s mouth in relation to capability, eyes glaze over and minds move on to more important things (the work – “let’s talk about the work”). Who wants to spend time getting better at soft skills? Not me. So senior managers, often struggling to motivate their people and encountering all kinds of people problems that have them stumped, jump into another meeting about work. ‘Soft’ means many brush leadership skills off as unnecessary extras.
Perhaps this reticence is because soft skills aren’t so much about what you can do (although the doing part is firmly in the mix). They are more about who you are and how you choose to show up. They require courage, vulnerability, authenticity, resilience, humour, heart, and critically, a desire to be better. While not easy to master, they have a huge impact (just ask anyone reporting to anyone else).
Picture this.
A business is struggling to get a contract renewed with their client
because a project manager (PM) isn’t performing.
A bottleneck is developing around them. And it’s not as if no-one’s aware of it.
Everyone knows, including the PM’s leader. Everyone talks about it ad nauseam.
Then they work around that person. Other problems (unexpected ones) arise.
What’s needed is a direct conversation (and frankly, this is the most compassionate and valuable option for the PM and the business). The PM’s leader needs to take the lead (“what’s going on?” would be a good start… ) and (probably) put a performance plan in place. But that depends on what comes out of the conversation.
The fact that this leader did not miraculously gain the skill to lead others when promoted means they won’t have this conversation on the top of their ‘to do’ list.
- Produce a deck? Tick.
- Update the strategy? Tick.
- Analyse the bottlenecks? Tick.
- Comment on the budget? Tick.
- Have the potentially tricky performance conversation? Not so much. (Soon … just not right now.)
It will definitely be on their mind, depleting their battery, and causing angst. And the impact of their PM on others and on results will certainly be getting uglier.
Then a restructure. A new manager.
Some time to assess (“we have to be fair and give them a real go”).
Realisation of what is needed (a performance plan).
Oh, other ‘more urgent’ matters to deal with.
Yep, the conversation needs to happen, but not right now.
And maybe ‘not on my watch’.
(Rinse, repeat.)
Let’s talk the ‘hard’ stuff
Since we apparently prefer (read: feel more comfortable with) the ‘hard’ stuff, let’s talk costs. What’s the cost of not having this conversation?
Reduced revenue (the easy thing to measure).
Caused by the bottleneck of ‘missed work’.
Got your attention?
And what about the stuff that’s harder to measure?
- Reduced motivation within the team
- Higher staff turnover
- Management time required to ‘please explain!’ on missed deadlines
- Eroded relationships across all client/contractor intersection points
- The client’s dipped confidence in the contractor and reduced likelihood of renewed contracts (see Reduced revenue)
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts
– William Bruce Cameron (American sociologist).
Call them hard, call them soft – measures, skills. Whatever you want to call them, they’re all connected. Organisations are systems, ranging from small to massive – everything impacts everything else. And the soft skills are more instrumental in getting you your hard results.
It begs the question: What do these critical leadership skills need to be called for your business and its people to make them a priority?
Author: Nicola Deakin
Author: Alison West